Good Stocking Stuffer Ideas
After a negligible amount of research, I’ve come up with the most intensely amazing list of things you can put into a child’s stocking for Christmas. If a parent were to buy these things now, then they would have the happiest kid alive:

video games
batteries for other gifts
their favorite type of sandwich
artificial mustaches
stickers
chap stick
stick on jewels
breath mints
cool looking mouse pad
playing cards
portable low fat yogurt
headphones
colored pens or pencils
erasers
toy cars
key chains
mirror
hair brush
deodorant
dentures
gift cards
puzzles or puzzle books
paper back books
lip gloss
flash lights
DVD’s
magic tricks
Play-Doh
signed adoption papers
chocolate covered mints
accessories for another gift they are getting
do it yourself RFID implant kits
flip-flops with Sponge Bob on them
rub on tanning lotion
microwaveable popcorn
Nerf darts
new glasses or contacts
hats
fake poop
marshmallows
trading cards

Bad Stocking Stuffer Ideas
I truly feel that it is my duty to do my part for society by sharing my full scope of knowledge. That is why I’ve included this list of bad ideas to help out new or stupid parents. It is very important not to put any of these items into a stocking if you want the child to remain physically and psychologically healthy:

needles
weapons
other people’s filled stockings
spiders
fire ants
real poop
frayed wires that are plugged into a socket
super glue that is still sticky
hard drugs
battery acid
broken light bulbs
court summons
morally questionable stand up comedy videos
hot soup that has been poured directly into the stocking
nude pictures of yourself
detonator devices for bombs
instructions on how to kill yourself
their grandfather’s diary during a period of sexual exploration
mouse traps that have been set
dead animals
used condoms
laxatives
used underwear
vinegar flavored lube
all of their baby teeth

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