Due to the breakout success of my “Examples of Hyperboles” post from last November, more articles on this topic are in the works. To review, “hyperbole” is the technical term for exaggerating to the point that the sentence isn’t believable. That essentially means that it is a lie which is obviously not meant to be taken seriously. Usually the hyperbole is a little bit funny so that the reader will realize that the information presented is not intended to be taken as a fact.

Here are a few funny hyperboles:

1. The other day I ran over twelve million, two hundred and fifty-five thousand, nine-hundred and thirty-three hedgehogs because my brother started making funny noises with his hands while I was trying to drive.

Explanation: You can tell it is a hyperbole because the number of hedgehogs is too high and suspiciously specific.

2. Hedgehogs account for over 90% of drunk driving accidents.

Explanation: This is a straight up exaggeration — alcohol made from hedgehogs is so rare, and comes in such small quantities, that it is impossible to get drunk off of hedgemahol alone.

3. Mike said that this dude at the President’s Day party drank 3 kegs of beer, and then he peed on the American flag for 20 minutes straight.

Explanation: No one would be able to drink 3 kegs of beer at a President’s Day party because no one would buy that many kegs for President’s Day. A forty would be plenty.

4. I stayed up until 1 million o’clock in the morning writing funny hyperboles so that the writing god wouldn’t castrate my first born son as a punishment for my laziness.

Explanation: No one can stay up that late — not even Jesus.

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