Yo mama jokes were an integral part of my middle school, and early high school education. Learning to write your own yo mama jokes can help you fit in with the cool kids, improve your linguistic skills, and help you verbally defend yourself against bullies. If you are smart, it will also allow you to communicate with an especially stupid bully by helping you speak on a level that he can understand.

Yo mama jokes have three definitive parts: intro, description, and action. If you follow my simple 3 step process , you will soon be writing your own yo mama jokes with great ease.

INTRO
Most yo mama jokes begin as follows: “Yo mama so”. This is the basic setup for all yo mama jokes, although it is sometimes acceptable to amend the word “so” by using a phrase like “has so”, or “takes so”. Obviously, the word “so” should be used in all yo mama jokes, because it implies that the mother you are describing is an extreme example of whatever description you decide to apply that mother. The description and the action are the most important parts of a yo mama joke, so you really don’t even need to bother writing a creative intro until you come up with the later parts of the joke.

DESCRIPTION
The description is not the funniest part of the joke, but it is perhaps the most important. Why are you making fun of the mother? Is she fat, stupid, ugly, unpleasant, badly textured, smelly, hairy, genetically inferior, kind of unreasonable, trashy, sweaty, or unseasonably dressed? If you are trying to be especially offensive, it helps for the description of the mother is true, which means that you may need to do a little research on the person’s mother before you sit down to write your joke. If you’re just going to use yo mama jokes on a friend, then you may want to use a description that isn’t true, so that you don’t actually offend your pal. I once told a yo mama joke to a friend of mine in middle school, and 10 years later he died of a kidney stone that had soaked into his blood stream from his uterus, which in turn clogged up a vein that lead to his brain, and ended up causing heart failure from a stroke he had when he was 8, while he was in a park riding the merry go round with his kid sister, who was wearing neon pink cowboy boots at the time – SO BE CAREFUL!!

ACTION
The action is probably going to be the funniest part of the joke. We need to tell people a reason why we know that their mother is fat, hairy, unseasonably dressed, or whatever. This part of the joke is almost never true, but it doesn’t need to be true. Basically, you will come up with the most ridiculous thing that someone would do to compensate for being fat, ugly, … etc. The standard action phrase begins with “she has to”, as in, “she has to rub cooking oil between her legs so her thighs don’t get chapped.” Some possible templates for the action section are as follows:

she uses a ____ to make her ______.

she got _____ from ______.

she folds her ______ under her ______ so that _______.

Coming up with the action is the real art behind a well executed yo mama joke, so take a little time to brainstorm as many actions as you can think of on a piece of paper. Also, if you plan far enough in advance, you can draw out the action you come up with using crayons, so that you can pull a picture out of your pocket and show the person a visual example of what their mama does to compensate for her inferior qualities.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember: yo mama joke = intro + description + action
• It helps to memorize the yo mama jokes you want to use, so that you aren’t reading from a piece of paper. If you’re reading from a piece of paper, people will perceive you as less creative, and therefore dumber, which is not the kind of image that you want to portray when you are trying to offend someone’s mother.
• Yo mama jokes can be considered highly offensive to people of any cultural background.
• Yo mama jokes should not be used around people who can beat you up, mentally unstable people, and actual mothers
• The ideas presented in this article are for entertainment purposes only, and the author can not be held liable for any damages incurred by the actual execution of aforementioned ideas.

Photo Credit: Kryten